to get over her
sixty days since I last tried
to message her and
I get by slowly slowly
one day at a time

cleanse my mind and write
disposable poetry
stir the mind mud with a
little anti-meditation

-- letting the mind spin free
spewing forth bile and hatred,
racism, homophobia and sexism.
All the thoughts I try to repress.
All the thoughts I have and hate.
But my mind is not me.
"You are not your thoughts"
let the wild mind run free
then draw a line. Breathe
and collect yourself.
Meditate.
The mind is wild
and cannot be controlled.
Let it spin occasionally to purge itself
of pain.
Let it spin and know your demons
then tell them to
FUCK OFF

I gave her my heart
but it turned up
in the lost and found.
I should collect it.

I visited lost and found

and asked after my heart but

the woman who worked there 

ignored me and I died just a little more

there were shelves and shelves
of broken hearts in the lost
property office she ran.
Mine was another and not
special.

my mind is whirring
and whirling, swirling, falling
and I feel helpless
I am Icarus burned
I see the sea below me